SandBLAST!

So Sandblast 2010 was epic. It was unforgettable. My mind can't even wrap around what happened.
First off, we split our Schaumburg-Hoffman house group into two separate groups, which was really difficult. BUT our Hoffman group bonded together in amazing ways. I am really looking forward to the future of this group. God is already doing so much. It was cool to be able to look around my small group and say, "Wow! All these girls go to the same high school!" What a great community.
Speaking of my small group... small would be the last adjective to describe it. I had eleven girls from all different places. I kind of freaked out. I had a lot of hopes and desires for the group, which ended up getting me into trouble. The first night at camp, I got 2.5 hrs of sleep (bad idea). The following day I was super exhausted, mentally and physically, and I broke down by the evening. It was one of those "God i'm so tired, help please!" times. I just wept and wept and was slightly embarrassed but I needed help. I didn't want to go to small group and I kept contemplating what would happen if I just told Katie to lead my girls instead. Well, I sucked it up and stopped soaking my shirt and continued to worship. At one point, half the room was dancing in the freedom of the Lord. Before Sandblast, God gave me a vision of people dancing because they were set free. I felt like this moment was the fulfillment of that vision. That gave me hope.
I was dancing too.
Small group happened and the presence of the Lord was there. He led the group. and I think that is what he wanted to happen, but I kept getting in the way. I needed to lose control. Of course I can never just do that, it always takes a major breakdown, but alas, it happened and God did unbelievable things. All 11 of my girls got honest. We had times of confession. Times of laughter. Times of honesty. It was awesome!
Willow put out an offer to bring 100 unchurched to camp for free. I had four in my group. Two accepted Jesus. They were set free and they danced. =]
Speaking of dancing. The last night of camp, people went nuts! Usually the 'decision' night is really tearful and sad, but this was different. People danced in joy. People laughed. People cried happy tears. It was SO cool! The Holy Spirit was filling each person in crazy ways. It was like the International House of Prayer, but more legit. I had to record it on my phone because it was that unbelievable. Okay, it was sweet. I think you get the point. But, remember that vision I was talking about? Well I felt like in that crazy dancing moment, God told me to look around. Before Sandblast God told me that he would blow our expectations. The previous night I was content in saying that God had fulfilled the vision he gave to me. However, Sunday night blew my expectations. Usually people dance at Impact camps, but not everyone. Not over 1000 people at the same time. God blew my expectations. I laughed with God in that moment.
So many lives were changed. My life was changed. Sorry this was so scattered, but that's how my mind is working right now. So much happened at Sandblast that it's hard to put into words. So basically, whether you are a student or adult, you should come to camp. Something special happens when people seek God with all their heart.

Fragile

I came home from working out today and the street was full of cars. I'm house sitting, and the next door neighbor's house was blocked off with police tape. I pulled into my driveway and there was police tape on my porch blocking off the side yards. My mind immediately started trying to figure out what happened. There was a cop blocking off the yard and he asked me if I lived there. I told him yes, and asked what happened, but he said he didn't know. I went inside the house while people gathered in the front. I was concerned, but I don't know the neighbors well. I went upstairs and looked outside. There was a crowd of people in the backyard and a man laying on the ground half covered in a sheet. A woman knelt at his side and occasionally people wiped their eyes. After about fifteen minutes, a group of men picked up the one on the ground and put him in a body bag. They wheeled him to the front and put him in an ambulance. He was young. In the absence where his body lie, the woman collapsed and sobbed. People consoled her and she moved to the front where more people were waiting with open arms.
I have never seen a dead person, except once at a wake. This just happened. This was tragic. I can't help but find myself emotional at the situation. Even though I had no connection to the neighbors, I find my own life standing still. The business stops. It doesn't matter if the grass needs to be cut or the house cleaned. Everything stopped. When you see someone in that sort of agony, it only makes you think. My heart broke for her.
I know that people die. Thousands of people die every day. It is a fact of life, but it doesn't always seem like a reality of life. I can't even imagine what the wife of that man is going through. Death became a reality for her today. And for me, I feel like I was hit a little too.
Life is fragile. I don't know how to deal with death. Death is the absence of one who used to be present in our lives. It can come in an instant. It is sad. So sad. I am sad.
Hope is necessary. In the wake of tragedy, Hope is the only thing that is sufficient.