Oh Happy Birthday Jesus!

I think this year was the first year that I really really enjoyed Christmas.
There wasn't a ton of family drama; instead, there was a lot of good food, sweatpants, laughing, fires, staying up late, and playing games together.
I absolutely love my family. My family is crazy and often times inappropriate. They know how to be honest and make fun at the oddities of life. Sometimes my mom crosses over the line of 'overly-honest,' but it's hilarious.
My family really knows how to love each other. My parents don't know Christ, but the unconditional love of Christ abounds in my family.
I'm at a place in my life where I am so thankful and content. I sit and reflect on my life and this Christmas, and I am so happy.
I am reading a book by AZ Tozer called The Pursuit of God. It's amazing. Read it. He talks a lot about seeking God alone, not God and... We need to rip from our hearts everything else that is competing for affection. The more we know God, the more we desire more of God.
I'll end with a prayer from the end of one of the chapters.
O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for me. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that so I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, 'Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.' Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long, In Jesus' name.
Amen.

Wowzer

So it's been a really long time since I've updated my blog. The main reason is because I am convinced that nobody reads it except my best friend, who lives with me anyways so she doesn't really have a need to read my blog. And I'm 1/2 lazy, and 1/2 busy student athlete.
Anywho.
I don't really have a ton to write about because this post wasn't premeditated. But as I sit at my desk this morning having been woken up earlier than necessary by my roommate's boyfriend calling, all I can think of is how happy I am to be alive. There are definitely things that annoy me or make me upset or even sad and hurt, but at the end of the day (or the beginning), when I sit and reflect, I have a deep sense of contentment. I stinkin love life. I am so incredibly blessed and sometimes I just need to sit and think about it for a while, otherwise I forget. I have a wonderful family and I have amazing friends. I go to a great school where prayer begins each class. I have plenty of food to eat and clothes to wear. Yesterday I got a new Mountain Hardware Sub Zero Parka. It dropped straight out of heaven just in time for the tundra to overtake our school. I am currently listening to worship music played at the international house of prayer. A guy named Matt Gilman is playing Christmas music, you know, the music about Jesus, not Santa. It's beautiful. http://www.ihop.org/Publisher/Article.aspx?ID=1000066807 - listen, December 5th at 10pm. I'm super overwhelmed right now by the many blessings in my life. My heart is just happy. I can feel it deep inside, and I want to be able to share that with others.
So whoever is reading this (hhm hm Katie), take some time to just sit and think about how good we actually have it. When I was in Africa I learned that it isn't the stuff we have that brings joy to our lives, although I am pretty stoked about my new coat, it is the people, the experiences, it's God. It's Christmas time and I'm sure glad Jesus came to earth. =) Notice blessings today

SandBLAST!

So Sandblast 2010 was epic. It was unforgettable. My mind can't even wrap around what happened.
First off, we split our Schaumburg-Hoffman house group into two separate groups, which was really difficult. BUT our Hoffman group bonded together in amazing ways. I am really looking forward to the future of this group. God is already doing so much. It was cool to be able to look around my small group and say, "Wow! All these girls go to the same high school!" What a great community.
Speaking of my small group... small would be the last adjective to describe it. I had eleven girls from all different places. I kind of freaked out. I had a lot of hopes and desires for the group, which ended up getting me into trouble. The first night at camp, I got 2.5 hrs of sleep (bad idea). The following day I was super exhausted, mentally and physically, and I broke down by the evening. It was one of those "God i'm so tired, help please!" times. I just wept and wept and was slightly embarrassed but I needed help. I didn't want to go to small group and I kept contemplating what would happen if I just told Katie to lead my girls instead. Well, I sucked it up and stopped soaking my shirt and continued to worship. At one point, half the room was dancing in the freedom of the Lord. Before Sandblast, God gave me a vision of people dancing because they were set free. I felt like this moment was the fulfillment of that vision. That gave me hope.
I was dancing too.
Small group happened and the presence of the Lord was there. He led the group. and I think that is what he wanted to happen, but I kept getting in the way. I needed to lose control. Of course I can never just do that, it always takes a major breakdown, but alas, it happened and God did unbelievable things. All 11 of my girls got honest. We had times of confession. Times of laughter. Times of honesty. It was awesome!
Willow put out an offer to bring 100 unchurched to camp for free. I had four in my group. Two accepted Jesus. They were set free and they danced. =]
Speaking of dancing. The last night of camp, people went nuts! Usually the 'decision' night is really tearful and sad, but this was different. People danced in joy. People laughed. People cried happy tears. It was SO cool! The Holy Spirit was filling each person in crazy ways. It was like the International House of Prayer, but more legit. I had to record it on my phone because it was that unbelievable. Okay, it was sweet. I think you get the point. But, remember that vision I was talking about? Well I felt like in that crazy dancing moment, God told me to look around. Before Sandblast God told me that he would blow our expectations. The previous night I was content in saying that God had fulfilled the vision he gave to me. However, Sunday night blew my expectations. Usually people dance at Impact camps, but not everyone. Not over 1000 people at the same time. God blew my expectations. I laughed with God in that moment.
So many lives were changed. My life was changed. Sorry this was so scattered, but that's how my mind is working right now. So much happened at Sandblast that it's hard to put into words. So basically, whether you are a student or adult, you should come to camp. Something special happens when people seek God with all their heart.

Fragile

I came home from working out today and the street was full of cars. I'm house sitting, and the next door neighbor's house was blocked off with police tape. I pulled into my driveway and there was police tape on my porch blocking off the side yards. My mind immediately started trying to figure out what happened. There was a cop blocking off the yard and he asked me if I lived there. I told him yes, and asked what happened, but he said he didn't know. I went inside the house while people gathered in the front. I was concerned, but I don't know the neighbors well. I went upstairs and looked outside. There was a crowd of people in the backyard and a man laying on the ground half covered in a sheet. A woman knelt at his side and occasionally people wiped their eyes. After about fifteen minutes, a group of men picked up the one on the ground and put him in a body bag. They wheeled him to the front and put him in an ambulance. He was young. In the absence where his body lie, the woman collapsed and sobbed. People consoled her and she moved to the front where more people were waiting with open arms.
I have never seen a dead person, except once at a wake. This just happened. This was tragic. I can't help but find myself emotional at the situation. Even though I had no connection to the neighbors, I find my own life standing still. The business stops. It doesn't matter if the grass needs to be cut or the house cleaned. Everything stopped. When you see someone in that sort of agony, it only makes you think. My heart broke for her.
I know that people die. Thousands of people die every day. It is a fact of life, but it doesn't always seem like a reality of life. I can't even imagine what the wife of that man is going through. Death became a reality for her today. And for me, I feel like I was hit a little too.
Life is fragile. I don't know how to deal with death. Death is the absence of one who used to be present in our lives. It can come in an instant. It is sad. So sad. I am sad.
Hope is necessary. In the wake of tragedy, Hope is the only thing that is sufficient.

Be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect.

For the past 6 days I have been meditating on the Sermon on the Mount. I felt led to just sit in it. It has been amazing. Each day God has revealed something new to me. He has shown me of Jesus’ authority, his intimacy, the new standard he set, and more.

Last night when I got to the part about salt and light, I was struck with the revelation of who Jesus was actually speaking to. When he said, “You are the light of the world,” he wasn’t speaking to me directly. He was sitting on a hill, facing a group of people. Those people included the sick, the poor, his disciples, and those destined to fail. Jesus looked them in the eyes and said:

You have a purpose

You are worth something

You will change this world

I can’t help but feel a range of emotions. I try to put myself in their position. I’ll bet they cleaned out their ears, whispered amongst themselves, then politely said, “Um, sir, can you please repeat that? We don’t think we heard you correctly.”

But they did.

Jesus looked among this group of lowly and saw what they were truly made for. They were there to reflect the glory of God. They were there to show others who God is.

It amazes me really. Jesus gave that group a whole new identity. I don’t think I give Jesus the opportunity to do that in my own life. I often pray that I may be found in him and that he will show me who I am. However, I fail to invite him in me to transform me. I don’t listen to him enough.

I am influenced by everything around me that tells me that I am not good enough. I always have to be better. I have to be thinner, I have to be more beautiful.

Jesus sees me differently.

He thinks I am perfect. He thinks I am beautiful. Nothing I can do will make him love me more or less. He is overwhelmingly for me, not against me. He is in love with you. You are perfect.

Jesus perfects us.

God looks at us and sees his son.

Why should we see ourselves any different?

Joy

I have been thinking a lot about joy today.
I started thinking about it during worship at church. We were singing Tear down the Walls by Hillsong and I felt led to read Deuteronomy 10. It talks about how we are called to live and who God is. . It's a wonderful passage. As I read it, I felt overwhelmed with joy. It was as if the more I read about who God is and let that fill me, the more excited and uplifted I felt.
Joy is not a feeling.
Joy is deep.
Joy is not uncertain.
Joy comes from complete trust.
I have joy in my life when I fully trust and surrender to my Father. When I slowly take my life back into my own hands, that's when I waver in my faith. Sometimes it seems completely crazy to 'surrender' my life to a spiritual entity that I have never seen. But honestly, I have found it safer that way. When I control my life, I crash. Every time. The times in my life when I have fully trusted God with my life were the safest times. Those times are marked unmistakably with joy.
This summer started off a little rocky for me. I let fear of what could happen dictate what did happen. I didn't trust God and I lost joy. God delights in us and wants us to experience the joy that comes from intimacy with him. I'm learning that daily. No matter what goes on in my life, there can be joy because, in the words of Moses, 'the Lord your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality and accepts no bribes. He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the foreigners residing among you...He is your praise; he is your God, who performed for you those great and awesome wonders.'
God is love. God's word is truth. and from the truth comes certainty. and in that certainty is unwavering joy.
For this God is our God for ever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end. Ps 48:14

Revelation

This summer I am staying at Olivet. I am house sitting and I don't have a full time job. I will have lots of free time, and that scares me a bit. However, I have been learning. In my own straying from God, I have found myself in a desolate place. I don't want to be where I was a week ago. Sunday at church I felt the presence of God for the first time in a long time; I think for the first time in a long time I was open to experience God. It's not that he isn't there, it's that I am not opening my eyes and my heart.
A few weeks ago, I felt convicted because I know the spiritual gifts God has blessed me with, and I haven't been using them. For example, there have been times in my life where the voice of the Lord is so clear and he leads me to share words and visions with others. That hasn't happened recently. I haven't created a chance for it to happen. I haven't sat and prayed.
Earlier today I was reading "The Gallic Confession on the Canon of Scripture" written by the French in the 16th century. They name off all the book in the Bible that they consider canonical, or the Word of God. Then they said something that stopped me.

We know these books to be canonical, and the sure rule of our faith, not so much by the common accord and consent of the Church, as by the testimony and inward persuasion of the Holy Spirit, which enables us to distinguish them from other ecclesiastical books which, however useful, can never become the basis for any articles of faith

I think about how much of my faith is based on what other people say, or on what C.S. Lewis says, and it's no wonder I find myself so confused. The Holy Spirit gives us the ability to know truth. We can know the Bible to be the word of God because of the Holy Spirit. Am I looking for the Spirit's work in my life? Do I ask God to reveal truth to me? A lot of times the answer is no. Things shall change.

God does

This whole semester has been really interesting for me. It is the first time in my life that I haven't been dealing with something major. My life has been great this semester. And so God asked: will you follow me when it seems like you don't need me? Yes. Yes. This semester I haven't heard God's voice as much as usual, but that's okay. Over the past two weeks, things have changed drastically. God has been revealing so many visions to me, it's crazy. He has given me visions to pray over other people and visions for my own life. God is moving. Yesterday was a huge day. God did so much. Last week, Student Impact was challenged to raise $5,000 to purchase a water truck for a church in the DR. The money was collected yesterday. The students donated nearly $12,500. Also, someone at our church felt compelled to match whatever the students gave. The total came to $25,000. Amazing. High schoolers. Wow. After church we went to the food pantry as a house group and packed 1,200 bags of food for families in need and cleaned the greeting room. Then my small group and I packed seeds for families in zimbabwe. Overall, as a church, we packed 500,000 family packs. That 500,000 families that will now be able to grow food for themselves. That is 500,000 families that can eat. Yesterday was also the day that God revealed a vision to me for my purpose the rest of college. I am to found an organization to raise enough money to buy a plot of land and build an orphanage for the kids I lived with in Uganda last summer. It's crazy and so much work, but God is bigger. God will inspire and God will provide. This will happen. God does.

I will confess...

I have a confession. Sometimes, I’m afraid. I am afraid to pray boldly because I am afraid that God won’t answer. I am afraid that if God doesn’t answer, then my faith might fall. I am afraid that if my faith falls, everyone whom I have ever told about Jesus will see that my God isn’t real. Sometimes I am afraid of my own fears. I am afraid that my fears of putting all my eggs in one basket will hold me back from the life that God intends for me to live. I am afraid that I will never be able to fully surrender to God because I am too afraid to fail. If God doesn’t answer my prayers, does that make him any less real? Occasionally I think so, but tonight I don’t. Am I even praying for the right things? If I pray for something, and it doesn’t happen, is that because I wasn’t praying for God’s will to be done? He isn’t a magic genie who grants my every wish. So what is he? He is God. He is Creator. He is Holy. He is Glorious. He is Love. He sacrificed everything because he loves me and everyone around me. He is amazing. He is it. I guess when I think more about who God is and less about who I am, the answers to my prayers don’t seem to matter as much. My faith isn’t based on that anymore. My faith is based on God, on who He is, not on what he can do for me. I can pray boldly when I know God, when my heart is connected with His, because I can be confident in who he is. What is the purpose of prayer anyway? To ask for things? The majority of my prayers think so… But really, it is through prayer that I come to know God. And in knowing God more, I want to know him more.

Revelation Thoughts

I've been reading through the book of Revelation with my best friend and it is absolutely crazy. I feel like I've been stretched more than Stretch Armstrong. I think it is awesome that John wrote down the praises of those around the throne. Their praises say so much about our God.
Amen!
Praise and glory
and wisdom and thanks and honor
and power and strength
be to our God for ever and ever
Amen!
I want to trust and follow a God like that.
There is also a lot of scary stuff in Revelation that I don't understand. However, I am realizing that in order to follow God, we have to follow all of him, not just the parts that pat our backs. We can't just cut and paste from the Bible and take what makes us feel good. If we do that, we have created a fake god, we have committed idolatry.
Confession: There have been times in my life when I have made God into who I want him to be. He became the one who gave me love and joy and peace and strength. He never called me to sacrifice, and there is no hardship and there is no suffering or wrestling. I'm almost done with the New Testament, and I have learned that it is the latter descriptors that are what God has called us to. Don't believe me? Read Luke 14:25-35. The cost is high. If we want to follow Jesus wholeheartedly, we cannot be selective. He is the Lion and the Lamb.
I'll leave you with an awesome passage.
And there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and in front of the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands. And they cried out in a loud voice: Salvation belongs to our God, who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb....These are they who have come out of the great tribulation; they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb. Therefore, they are before the throne of God and serve him day and night in his temple; and he who sits on the throne will spread his tent over them. Never again will they hunger; never again will they thirst. The sun will not beat down on them, nor any scorching heat. For the Lamb at the center before the throne will be their shepherd; he will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.
Revelation 7:9-10, 14-17

The World is Our Friend

Here is the official road trip update!

Friday, 3/5

• Left ONU
• Passed through Illinois, Kentucky, Tennessee
• Went to the Nashville Predator's Arena and got VIP parking - got to go backstage
• Stayed at Jen's (Katie's sister) apartment in Brentwood

Saturday, 3/6

• Left Jen's at 9AM
• Passed through Tennessee, Mississippi, Arkansas, Oklahoma
• Drove through Memphis
• Ate lunch on the border of TN and AK overlooking the Mississippi River
• Saw nasty Tyson chicken houses in the Ozark mountains
• Went to the Ozark National Forest and set up camp in the mountains
• God scared our of our minds, packed up and left
• Drove until late in the night and slept in a rest stop in OK
• Sonic :)

Sunday 3/7

• Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico
• Went to church at Bethany First Church of the Nazarene and Southern Naz University
• Stopped at a starbucks and paid for a car in the drive through
• Drove on Route 66
• Talked about Chili's a lot, then saw one!
• Got free chips and salsa and left a big tip
• Saw a GIANT rainbow!
• Stopped at the Flying C Ranch - proud owners of 50 billion billboards on I-40
• Stopped at a Denny's in Santa Fe for coffee and Bible talk
• Rick was our waiter, we talked to him
• Drove north until we found a rest stop that wasn't sketchy

Monday 3/8

• Woke up freezing and left the rest stop at 6:30AM
• Washed our hair in a Sonic bathroom sink
• New Mexico, Colorado
• Went to Capulin Volcano and ate breakfast
• Peed at the base of Capulin Volcano
• Had a snowball fight in Northern NM
• Topped in Trinidad, CO for an oil change (got ripped off, I'm still bitter), walked through an antique shop
• Went to the Great Sand Dunes national park - saw nothing, too foggy
• Drove past the 38th parallel (separates N and S Korea)
• Saw many mountains
• Drove through a blizzard
• Stopped at the Red Rocks open area and went walking/climbing
• Agia Sophia coffee shop - great coffee, in a house, religion books everywhere
• Katie sat on my camelback and soaked her butt...haha!
• Went to a thai restaurant for dinner in Colorado Springs
• Texted Katie's friend Buck, who said we could stay at his sister's house, whom we have never met
• Stayed at his sister, Lauren's, house. Hung out with her roommates. Slept in warm bedS! :)

Tuesday 3/9

• Katie showered
• Saw Pike's peak
• Passed Castle Rock
• At breakfast at the Red Rocks Amphitheater
• Walked around, stood on stage, went to the visitor's center
• Hiked along Dinosaur Ridge and saw fossils!!!!
• Drove into Denver and went to the greatest bookstore in the world - Tattered Cover Bookstore- after getting lost many times.
• Browsed for hours
• Went to the world's largest REI
• Bought turkey jerky
• Went to Colorado State to stay with my friend Mike
• Played rummy 500
• Slept on a futon

Wednesday 3/10

• Slept in and at warm breakfast
• I showered - PTL
• Went to Mugs coffee lounge and it was wonderful...we got silverware made from potatoes
• Mike showed us around
• Walked around Old Town Fort Collins
• Went to 10,000 Villages fair trade shop and bought cool things
• Authentic Thai food from Toy's Thai for lunch
• Hung out at Wild Boar Coffee Shop, read, did a puzzle
• Ate dinner in a bomb CSU caf - mongolian gril. yes!
• Hung out the rest of the night

Thursday 3/11

• Colorado, Wyoming, Nebraska, Iowa, Missouri
• Left
• Drove, a lot
• Saw a sign in Nebraska that said: Outlaw Sodomy. Haha!
• Stopped in Lincoln, Nebraska for dinner. Katie got lost
• Read The Life of Pi a lot
• Went to the International House of Prayer in KC, it was their student awakening so we went to that. Big crazy party.
• Sonic
• Got pulled over by officer Valentine bc my tail lights were our
• Went to the actual prayer room

Friday 3/12

• Missouri, Iowa, Illinois
• Worshiped, prayed, and slept until 4am
• Katie drove until 530
• Slept in a McDonalds parking lot until 7
• I drove after a big coffee
• Finally made it to illinois
• Katie thought it would be a good idea to throw her apple out the window, but instead she opened the car door, WHILE she was driving 70mph down the highway. Dumb.
• Finished The Life of Pi...Pi was our friend.
  
• Made it home around 3 in the afternoon and slept the afternoon away
  

3,832 miles.



Done.

Road Trip

I'm going on a road trip with my best friend
We don't know where we are going
We want to spend every night in a different state
We feel called to tell people about Jesus and do random acts of kindness
Time for an adventure!

Do we even really need God?

Sometimes I ask myself:
What is the purpose of life?
Why are we here?
So I get a college education, get a job, work, then die.
So what's the point?
I won a national championship, in three years nobody will remember who I was.
Why do we work so hard?
I couldn't even tell you my great grandfather's name.
Pretty good chances that my great grand kids won't know mine.
So why do we toil?
Why do we work so hard?
Why do we care?
Because this isn't it.
There is more to life.
There is hope for something after this.
Our lives are lived in a way that we can be independent and rely on ourselves, but when we lay in bed at night, there are always things that haunt us.
Purpose is something that always crosses my mind.
If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man's work. If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames.
I don't want to narrowly escape through the flames.
God is our purpose.
Our hope is in him.
Without God, life is nothing.
Even if we impact someone's life, we will both die and that relationship will be meaningless.
God promises more.
God guarantees full life not only in this life, but in the next one.
Resurrection.
Purpose.
Meaning.
Hope.

The Spirit and Sin

Galatians 5:16-20
So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.

The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.

God has used this passage to both challenge and encourage me. He has asked me to meditate on it daily. I have realized that I am guilty of each act of sinful nature listed. Sometimes my sin drags me down. I feel tired, like I'm fighting a battle that I can't win. However, there is hope. The cross. The only place where nothing really seems to make sense. It should be me up there, suffering for the things I have done. But I am here. Free. Living in the blessings of God's peace and love. Our sinful nature has been crucified. It's passions and desires are gone. On the cross, Jesus yelled out, "It is finished!" Our sin - It is finished! Praise God because it is a battle that I am not strong enough to win on my own.

One thing that blows my mind is the fact that when Jesus died, he took all of God's wrath on himself. All of the punishment. God turned his face away from his Son and punished him for our sin. As if the beatings and torture from humans wasn't enough, God punished him too. In John 12:27-28, Jesus says, "Now my soul is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name!"

I don't want to take advantage of that. I don't want to trample on the cross of Christ. Why walk the line of sin when Jesus made an end to it? We are to walk in step with the Spirit. Praise God for his great mercy and love. He loves us so much.

I want to see

This semester I've been reading through the New Testament with my best friend, and God has been revealing so much and has been challenging me all the more. Jesus healed people, Jesus drove demons out, and Jesus gave his followers the authority to do the same. At the end of Mark, Jesus said that those things will be signs of his followers. Jesus told us to seek first the Kingdom of God, but what does that really look like? The more I read God's word, the more I feel like we have missed the mark a bit. We play in puddles with the ocean right behind us. It's no wonder that we all struggle so much to stay close to God. This is a weird analogy, but I had to watch the movie Wall-E for my honors class. When the people are living in the space station, they all sit in chairs with screens in front of their face. Everything is done for them and they don't even come in contact with other humans. The only interaction they have is done through the screen. Wall-E accidentally pushes a button that removes the screen from a woman's face. For the first time, she sees her surroundings. The rest of the film is the humans returning to where they came from, returning to what they were intended to be. Sometimes I feel like one of those over-weight people, sitting in a chair, having everything done for me while I hardly interact with people. I want to see! In Luke, two blind men are sitting on the road and somehow they know Jesus is walking down the road. They call to him, asking for mercy. Jesus asks them what they want from him. Their cry: We want to see! I want to see too. I want to see God. I don't want to constantly face this struggle of living in the world but not being a part of it. I don't think we were intended to walk the line. We are supposed to be live fully in the kingdom, fully in God's reign. What does this look like? I think it looks like prayer. I think it means listening to God, not just reading our list of things that we want done for us. We cannot be afraid. Nothing can ever separate us from God's love, so what are we to fear? Death? Jesus conquered that too. I feel challenged to discover truth. I believe that Jesus is the truth that my heart always longed for. I don't want to lean on the theologies of others. I want to seek God and read his word and discover what it has to say. Our lives are mist, we are here for a short time, so why settle for mediocrity? Luke 17:5 has become my prayer. In Luke 17, Jesus is talking about Sin, Faith, and Duty. This is where he tells his disciples that they have to forgive someone even if they sin seven times in a day, and seven times comes back repenting. Their response: Increase our Faith! It takes faith to forgive. It takes faith to follow God. Every aspect of our life requires faith. I need more.
So Lord, Increase our Faith!